What do we do when our children don’t get what they want? When they’re little, we coach them on the value of sharing, waiting their turn, or accepting the situation. If you are a parent of siblings, you’ve probably set multiple invisible timers to negotiate toy time between equally indignant children. You’ve heard ‘it’s-my-time-with-the-Xbox!’ and ‘I WAS HERE FIRST!!!’ I remember the days when one of my children ONLY wanted to practice the piano at the exact time that their sibling was practicing. Have you ever seen piano-bench wrestling? It’s not pretty.
But how about when they’re older? An adolescent? What happens when your child struggles with self-regulation when they don’t get chosen for a sports team, their arts major preference, or their first choice in an X-day activity?
They might seem mad or sad—even indignant; fear of rejection can wear many masks (and some, simultaneously). And, wow, can it be tough to parent a child through that, especially when, as parents, we might struggle ourselves with FOMO (a.k.a. Fear Of Missing Out. It’s a real thing, I promise).
Or maybe it’s not self-regulation they are struggling with, but rather: what if they’re struggling with a side effect of people-pleasing? It might stem from a fear of disappointing YOU, their parent, if they did not get or do something that was expected of them. How can you parent them through those choppy waters?
You can ask a parent of a first-year college student who is at their ‘second choice’ school and thriving. Or you can ask the parent of a child who was put into a random X-day activity last year and ended up loving it. Or Jay Sagrolikar ’21 who was placed in band as his second-choice arts major in the 6th grade and ended up being one of our school’s most prolific and joyful saxophonists, completing multiple independent studies and performing as a key player in a newly formed jazz band. His band teacher wrote
Jay, Xavier, and Marvin all stopped by at the start of this school year just to jam a little bit together and be in the band space. Wonderful young men who have definitely found a passion in their gifts of music. Here is a short video of what they were playing around with that morning. Warmed my heart for sure!
There are lessons to learn here that go well beyond placement. Parents who have experienced such challenges and have experienced any measure of success have reported that they did a few things:
They let their child feel their emotions—whatever those were.
They sought their child’s permission to discuss the disappointment and their feelings about it.
They discussed it without shame or judgment, approaching the issue with curiosity and empathy, including that it’s okay to have “wants”.
When their children felt like a victim of ‘not being selected,’ they kept the focus on things in their child’s control, like attitude and enthusiasm.
If it wasn’t life-threatening, they didn’t jump in to fix it.
Worth repeating: if it wasn’t life-threatening, they didn’t jump in to fix it. (It’s hard, I know.)
They asked their children for their suggestions on how to move forward, opening an empowering space for their kids to flex agency, figure out self-advocacy, and practice problem-solving.
In short, all found success when the parents signaled that their kids could handle their disappointment and when they stopped assigning judgment to their kids’ feelings. It’s totally normal to feel sad and disappointed and bummed—yes, it makes us parents uncomfortable, but there are no such things as ‘bad’ feelings.
I know it can be hard to watch your child sit in discomfort, to resist the urge to swoop in and manage a situation or “fix” it on their behalf. However, I promise that there is something extremely valuable in finding safe, low-stakes ways for your children to experience disappointment and find acceptance of an outcome different than what they had planned and envisioned. In a recent podcast entitled How to Raise Untamed Kids, Dr. Becky Kennedy talks with Glennon Doyle and her pod squad (We Can Do Hard Things) about these very topics.
Of course, I’m not talking about ‘settling’ in a marriage or a career or anything like that. Rather, having a mild-to-moderate disappointment is a chance to understand that sometimes, for reasons that may be as random as a lottery, life deals you your second choice–and that you will be just fine, perhaps even better for it. It can also present an important opportunity to practice breaking the bonds of people-pleasing, which plague so many of us adults.
You might be saying, “But Josette, my child has had her fair share of disappointments.” And there are undoubtedly heavy sighs when we recognize societal disappointments, like how COVID shaped the last few years of these children’s social lives. But if we are genuinely looking to celebrate authentic success, let’s start by recognizing the value in building a worldview in which our children are sometimes the main character and, other times, a supporting crew. After all, it is in those alternate outcomes, second choices, and “disappointments” that resilience and flexibility are forged. And these are skills you want your kids to have in spades when larger challenges and disappointments come their way. By granting a space for your children to experience and process a disappointment, you are arming them with the confidence and knowledge that, when things don’t go their way, they can handle it—that they’ve “got this.”
And that is how disappointments don’t become setbacks, but new opportunities.
Written by Josette Huntress Holland, Head of Middle School
How wonderful it’s been to return to at least some sense of normalcy this school year with all students back on campus five days a week!
While there is certainly comfort in returning to a more familiar mode of operation, this does not mean that our learning community is aiming to go back entirely to the way things were before the pandemic. On the contrary, we are starting this school year looking resolutely and optimistically to the future, with a new strategic plan that doubles down on the powerful strategic vision we first articulated in 2015:
Cary Academy will create personalized learning opportunities that are flexible and relevant in an environment that supports student wellbeing.
We will cultivate self-directed and bold life-long learners who make meaningful contributions to the world.
It’s been a while since we’ve spoken broadly about our 2020 strategic plan, and some of you who are newer to our community may not even be aware of its genesis.
Every five years, the school engages in a strategic planning process that also serves as our self-study for purposes of accreditation renewal. Our 2020 strategic planning process got underway in early 2019, with a review of the progress we had made with our 2015 plan. In the course of that review, we found ourselves excited by what we had been able to achieve but also struck by what might be possible if we were to continue down the ambitious strategic path we had set for ourselves for another five years.
What, for example, might we be able to accomplish with respect to our goals for creating institutional flexibility and cultivating authentic engagement if we were to concentrate our energy on deeply reimagining the way we use time?
And what might we be able to achieve with respect to our goals for building strong connections and providing appropriate resources if we were to follow up on the significant improvements we were making to the physical side of our school environment with an equally substantial slate of improvements supporting the cultural side?
With questions like these in mind, the Head of School convened a Strategic Planning Committee (SPC) with members representing the Board, faculty and staff, students, parents, and alumni. The SPC worked with the school’s Leadership Team to develop the 2020 plan as a “second phase” to the 2015 plan, identifying a set of key strategies for each of our existing goal areas that would help us more fully realize the original strategic vision. The work of the SPC was then shared with employees for further feedback and finetuning, with the Board reviewing and approving the final plan in November 2019, ahead of an anticipated accreditation team visit in Spring 2020.
Then came COVID.
Suddenly, our accreditation visit was postponed from April 2020 to March 2021. This, in turn, caused the rollout and first year of implementation of our new strategic plan to be postponed to the current school year. All the while, the global pandemic and the call to action on racial justice were giving added urgency to much of the strategic work envisioned in our plan, particularly in the areas of institutional flexibility and wellbeing. So, in something of a paradox, we significantly accelerated implementation of certain components of our strategic plan starting in Summer 2020, even as we were forced to delay the official kickoff of the 2020 plan to Fall 2021.
The result?
We are now in the unusual (but fortunate) position of having already made significant headway in the execution of our new strategic plan, even though we are technically just a few weeks into the formal “year one.” Some highlights of our progress to date include:
Piloting new daily schedules in Middle and Upper School featuring a later start to the school day, fewer class meetings/transitions per day, a longer Middle School lunch break, and a flexible Wednesday.
Shifting to a semester system in the Upper School to reduce grade focus and anxiety through fewer reporting periods.
Launching X-Day programming to support experiential learning, with an emphasis on student co-creation and student choice.
Partnering with the PTAA to administer the Authentic Connections/High Achieving Schools Survey to assess the wellbeing of our student community and identify areas for improvement.
To answer that question, I would like to invite you to take a closer look at the full 2020 Strategic Plan now posted to our website. The goals and strategies outlined in the plan will drive much of the work we undertake as a learning community over the next five years, with ample opportunities for participation and feedback along the way. By taking a deeper dive into work begun in 2015 and looking for the opportunities in our response to both the racial equity and the public health crisis, we are positioned to move our learning community forward in ways that are not only positive but truly transformative.
I look forward to the strategic journey ahead and hope you share my excitement about the possibilities.
While this school year has been the most unique and challenging that I have experienced in my career as an educator, I am thrilled to note that, as we bring our 2020-21 school year to a close, this last week in the Middle School feels wonderfully almost normal. Students are enjoying the typical year-end bonding activities from chalk drawing to rock climbing, sharing remembrances in yearbooks, turning in last-minute assignments, and filling the building with the energy and enthusiasm of anticipation of summer break, relaxation, and travel.
If it were not for the facemasks and reminders to socially distance, it would be hard to believe how much has transpired over the past nine months. From the isolation of working at home to the hybrid configuration of blue and gold cohorts (with virtual and on-campus classes) to all three grade levels back on campus, this has been a year of adaptation and adjustment.
I am hopeful when, as adults, our students look back to this time in their Middle School years that the disruption they experienced will be just one memory in a rich and varied assortment of memories of their educational journey and that the skills they acquired and applied during this time will be life-long: flexibility, patience, resiliency, collaboration, and the ability to deal with uncertainty.
As this is my last blog before I head on to my own journey of a life outside of school walls, I want to express my deepest gratitude to our students, parents, and faculty for coming together during this time of crisis to truly embody the tenants of our mission of a learning community committed to discovery innovation, collaboration, and excellence. Our mission has always driven us forward; for the past 17 months, it has successfully informed our response to a global pandemic.
Thank you, students, for putting your best selves forward– you prevailed through Zoom fatigue.
Thank you, faculty, for your hours of preparation and delivery of creative, challenging, and student-centered learning opportunities.
Thank you, parents, for your support and flexibility with ongoing changes from carpool patterns to health checks to schedule changes.
And thank you, colleagues, in other CA divisions, for your amazing logistical support, including furniture moves, COVID signage, dining flow patterns, lunch supervision, and answering a million health questions.
This year has been one HUGE learning community team project. We are stronger for this effort and have learned so much. To borrow this week’s quote on the sixth-grade hall bulletin board: “Well done, Chargers!”
Transitions mark the end-of-the-year, and we send congratulations to our eighth graders on their move to Upper School and bid fond adieux to our departing Middle School faculty members, Matthew Ripley-Moffit, Leslie Williams, Beth Popp, Brennan Liming, and Laura Price. With optimism for a return to school in August with fewer restrictions and less fear and uncertainty, I wish everyone a lovely summer of relaxation, time with loved ones, and good health!
Even before our Director of Communications, Mandy Dailey, asked me to write this week’s blog, I was savoring scenes from around the Upper School, especially since they all seemed to coalesce around a common theme: community. I thought I would share a few of them with you.
One morning last week, a senior stood in front of a classroom of adults, a group that included the Head of the School, Director of Facilities, and Board members. She explained what she had learned over the course of this year in an independent study focused on environmental sustainability. Specifically, she shared how she had calculated Cary Academy’s immediate carbon footprint, then she offered suggestions about how we can move forward as a community, mentioning small and large actions we can take as a school to improve our world. The adults scribbled notes the entire time.
One afternoon last week, the six students in Yearbook, along with their teacher, parents, and advisor volunteers, passed out the 2020-2021 Yearbook, a compendium all-the-more impressive considering we started the year with much of our school life boxed into Zoom meetings. That afternoon, Upper School student stood in clumps about the Quad, pens in hands, flipping through pages, scribbling quick messages, perusing pictures.
One afternoon last week, students lounged at the end of the Quad close to the Library, enjoying Quadchella. CA performers played and sang for each other in an informal concert developed over the course of a week with energetic input from StuCo and our arts faculty. Under that afternoon sun, the audience applauded the student performers, grabbed snacks, and laughed with a joy that we haven’t seen in some time.
One morning this week, a gaggle of seniors sprawled under the trees, chatting and laughing and debating and—oddly enough—laying on their backs, the soles of their feet pressed together. That small scene (minus the feet) echoed countless other versions of the small conversations I witnessed this year, conversations about both nothing in particular and everything in general.
Earlier this week, the seniors on campus danced through the hallways and onto the Quad, the leader holding a speaker on his shoulder like some throwback to an 80’s movie. Their fifteen-minute pilgrimage was an homage to our annual Glow Stick dance, a soiree that didn’t take place this year. But this week’s journey, with its moments of exuberance, celebrated their bond built across the years—celebrated their bond with the school.
A bit later that day, two of those same seniors, along with a group of 10th and 11th graders, talked about a year-long Cary Academy class, one that melded English and history and art and activism and entrepreneurship and experiential learning. They discussed once more that idea of community, even though they didn’t immediately form a close-knit group in August. At least not a first. The essence of their discussion? How even with their differences, they came to trust one another as their learning became personal, as they understood how their knowledge linked to each other and the larger world.
Next week, a group of new alumni and newly-minted seniors will lead a symposium for 10th graders that brings national figures to campus virtually (yay Zoom!), allowing our students to hear from professionals in a variety of fields that touch our lives. This opportunity comes to us, once again, courtesy of student ingenuity.
During a year when so many of us yearned for physical community, the students have taken that urge and built beautiful, sometimes unexpected celebrations of togetherness.
Yes, the adults have been present. Yes, we provide the guardrails and the reminders and food. Yes, that sense of belonging is coded into our school’s DNA; just consider the C in DICE. Or look at the opening phrase of our Statement of Community Values.
But in a year when students could be forgiven for shying away from collecting together, they instead embraced opportunity: they searched for ways to understand, to come together, to lead.
They built communities—so many enchanting, vibrant, celebratory communities.
So, to our students: thank you. Your actions give all of us hope. Even when you play pattycakes with your feet.
Every member of the Charger community is aware of the dedication, flexibility, and compassion our 152 CA employees have shown throughout this year of unexpected challenges. In addition to giving 100% each and every day to our students, 100% of CA employees have also donated to the CA Fund – a clear sign of their commitment to fostering discovery, innovation, collaboration, and excellence on campus.
This year, during Teacher Appreciation Week, we wanted to do something extra to show our CA employees how much they are loved, which is why we asked our community to submit donations and gratitude messages throughout the week. The Development team is thrilled to announce that 157 Charger families made a gift to the CA Fund, raising more than $35,000 in honor of our dedicated CA employees!
Several families also took the time to say “thank you” in their own way – please take a moment to watch the video and photo montage below.
Each May, communities around the country take time to let teachers and school staff know just how much they are appreciated for all they do. Through pictures, gift cards, notes, sweets, students of all ages, along with their families, offer kind gestures of appreciation to those working in our schools.
This year, Teacher Appreciation Week comes with strict social-distancing guidelines. Guests are not allowed on campus. Masks are worn all the time. Food can only be distributed if it is in a pre-packaged wrapper. Hugs are off-limits.
So, how do we say thank you?
How do we say thank you to our teachers who taught at least three different versions of every class all year long?
How do we say thank you for reinventing every class’s curriculum during summer vacation to deliver exceptional virtual and cohort-based experiences?
How do we thank our staff who showed up, masked and distant, every day since last July, reimagining their entire department’s goals and workflows?
How do we thank our employees who found ways to foster community and preserve social and emotional health, creatively and virtually connecting with our students despite social distancing?
How do we thank our coaches for advocating for maintaining athletics all year long for the mental wellness of our students?
How do we thank those that have kept our community safe and healthy, revamping daily procedures and implementing COVID protocols—advanced cleaning, new dining routines, building upfits, and campus maintenance–all while keeping campus beautiful and at the ready for learning?
How do we appreciate our employees who put CA and its students first, even when living with at-risk family members?
How do we appreciate our entire community for supporting our students and each other through a year of heightened fear, racism, bigotry, political strife, and repeated trauma in our broader world?
How do we value our employees, all 152 of them, who pledged their support to CA with a gift to the CA Fund this year?
Above all, how do we say thank you for helping us come through this trying year together, united, and perhaps even stronger?
Well, quite simply: by doing just that. Saying thank you.
Our employees have reinvented many wheels this year. Through screens, outdoor gatherings (even in the cold and the rain), and the occasional elbow bumps, they have connected meaningfully with students and with each other. Together, they have delivered a CA experience that, while appearing quite different, was nonetheless exceptional and true to our mission. And they have done it all because of their love for this community. For their belief in our mission. For our students and their families.
What they–what we– miss most and need most, is to see you and hear you. Our families offer meaning behind the screens and the masks. You and your students make this meaningful work worth it.
You may have seen emails from the Development Office this week. Laura Schoedler, our new CA Fund Director, joined us in March and is spearheading these appreciative efforts. We humbly ask that you join us. Help us present our employees with a show of community support next week.
During this Teacher Appreciation Week, I encourage you to take a moment to share a message of thanks (you can submit them here). We will compile messages received this week—please get them to us no later than noon on Friday (tomorrow!)—into a video that will be shared with our employees next week. We hope you will add your voice and let our employees know how much you care and how much you have appreciated their efforts this year. At the end of the day, your voice and your message are the greatest appreciation of all.
Cary Academy hosts COVID-19 vaccination clinic for Triangle-area educators and other front-line workers
March 10, 2021
On Friday, March 5, in partnership with Health Park Pharmacy, Cary Academy hosted a coronavirus vaccine clinic in the Center for Math and Science gym. In addition to CA faculty and staff, CA invited members of the Cary Police department, an RTP-based firm that manufactures syringes for vaccination, and faculty and staff from thirteen Triangle-area elementary and secondary schools: Bright Horizons, Cardinal Charter, Carter Community School, Central Park School, Cresset Christian, Dream Academy, LatinxEd, Mills Park Elementary, Neal Magnet Middle School, Reedy Creek Elementary, Research Triangle High School, The Raleigh School, and Wake Young Women’s Leadership Academy.
“The question of where to go and how to arrange a vaccination is made a lot easier when we’re able to offer vaccinations – not only to our own employees, but other educators and community members,” said Dr. Mike Ehrhardt. “And we’re really grateful to all the partners that helped make this happen.”
By the end of the day, 450 school staff and faculty, front-line workers, and at-risk individuals from Durham and Wake Counties received an injection of the Johnson & Johnson single-dose COVID-19 vaccine from the Health Park Pharmacy team and their volunteer vaccinators.
If you are a healthcare professional interested in volunteering to help distribute vaccines during future vaccination clinics in and around Wake County, contact Health Park Pharmacy nurse manager Lauren Crotty.
Written by Dan Smith, Digital Content Producer and Social Media Manager
Theater teacher Glen Matthews vividly remembers standing transfixed in the quiet dark of backstage Berger Hall. Before him, Evan Zhu ‘23, playing Simba in the 2017 production of The Lion King Junior, was grieving his father Mufasa, newly killed in a wildebeest stampede.
“He was kneeling over his father’s body and saying ‘Dad! Dad! Wake up, wake up!’” recalls Matthews, his voice breaking with emotion at the memory. “We hadn’t seen anything like it in rehearsals—he was truly living that moment, living that grief; he was weeping, fully transformed.”
“To be able to do that as an actor in front of 500 people, regardless of your age—to be that authentic in a moment—that’s difficult stuff. Actors work their whole life to find that, and here was this young person who allowed themself to just shed their skin—it was beautiful and powerful, a privilege to witness.”
For Matthews, such moments are a triumph, not only as testaments to the artistic growth of his student actors, but as a reflection of the success of the entire ensemble that helps usher them to life on the stage, and for the powerful connection that they forge with the audience.
Ensemble ethic
Helping his students bring such visceral experiences to life—and he’s quick to point out that there have been many during his 23-year tenure at CA—is one of the things Matthews loves most about his role.
Matthews joined CA in 1998—before the campus even had a theater space—arriving after a brief detour as a theater teacher with Neal Middle School in Durham, from acting with The Burning Coal Theater company, which had recently located from Manhattan to North Carolina.
He remembers those early days fondly, meeting with Performing Arts Director Michael Hayes on the second floor of the Admin Building as they began to collaboratively explore what a theater program at CA might look like. What would it emphasize and value? What would it ultimately seek to instill in its students?
“A lot of people, when they hear theater, they’re thinking, ‘oh, well, that class is just going to be about acting,’” offers Matthews. “And, yes, actors are important and, yes, you have to have someone to tell the story. Before you can even get to that part, though, you must have a story to tell.”
And Matthews will tell you that the magic of discovering and telling that story is found in the collaboration of the entire group that supports its production—in the cultivation of the ensemble.
“I knew that I wanted the CA theater experience to be broader than just a focus on what it means to be an actor. Early on, we grounded the work in the ensemble ethic—the idea that we are a diverse group of people working together towards a common goal.
“We spend a lot of time at the beginning of any class exploring what that means. What does it mean to be a part of a group that has invested their resources, their time, and their talents into accomplishing a goal? What are my responsibilities to you? What are your responsibilities to me? To each other? And how are we all contributing to the growth and the maintenance of this wonderful, beautiful thing?” explains Matthews.
Once those relationships and boundaries are established—trust earned and developed—the ensemble becomes the foundation upon which everything is scaffolded, from stage makeup application to combat choreograph, scenery design to, of course, acting exercises. In everything, the ensemble, collaboration, and the collective journey are paramount—at times leading to unexpected learning opportunities.
“I have a sense of what’s going to happen each day, but what’s exciting is that even though there’s a plan, it really depends on the energy of the room—what the students bring into the space, where they are at that moment,” explains Matthews. “Meeting them where they are, saying ‘okay, wherever we end up today is where we are supposed to be,’ is important. And determining what we can learn from that together—that’s exciting; it’s powerful.”
Matthews’s students will tell you that it is an empowering approach.
“Mr. Matthews’s ensemble approach helps everyone grow together and feel like they can experiment with different things,” offers alum Evan Snively ’20. “It really frees you to make your own artistic choices.”
Chioma Modilim ’22 agrees. “Mr. Matthews is always encouraging us as students and actors to step outside our comfort zones and to explore our creativity. Whenever I ask him what I should do as the character in a particular moment or scene, he always responds with, ‘just play with it.’ He is great at balancing guiding us with letting us make our own decisions, and that freedom is something that I’ve really come to appreciate.”
Failing boldly
At its heart, the ensemble ethic is about creating a safe space, one in which everyone is valued and empowered to tap into their most imaginative and creative selves, emboldened to take creative risks—the kind that lead to significant growth and learning.
“I spend a lot of time trying to create that safe space for my students. I want them to know that, when they are here, they can shed their skin, they can be vulnerable,” explains Matthews. “I have a sign in my classroom in the Black Box; I put it there for myself, but I share it with my students. It says, ‘risk all, fail boldly.’
“That concept is something that I stumbled upon years ago while working with adult performers. We all need to be reminded that it is okay to fail boldly. That’s when we learn. That’s when we grow as artists, certainly—but even more importantly—that is when we grow as human beings.”
Matthews, whose roots in performing arts run deep, has been taking creative risks his whole life. From an early age, music and performance were important in his life, whether singing solos in his southern Mississippi church choir as a young child or playing piano in elementary school or the trombone in his high school marching band.
He credits his sixth-grade music teacher for helping him discover a passion and talent for theater. “Mrs. Pugh recognized something in me,” he reflects. She began to take him to see musicals produced in the broader area, ultimately escorting him to his first audition—a civic production of The Wizard of Oz. He would land the part of a munchkin—a small role that would have a big life-long impact, setting a creative trajectory towards a career in theater.
A creative coincidence, his early start got a little boost from contemporary pop culture—thanks to the meteoric rise of the wildly popular musical Annie. “Everything was about Annie, and the sun will come out tomorrow! I had the album, and I was, you know, I was convinced that I was going to be the next Annie,” he laughs. “Obviously, I wasn’t, but it was certainly a driving force.”
His newly discovered love of musical theater would carry him through numerous workshops and community performances before finally leading to the pursuit, first, of a BFA in musical theater from William Carey College and, later, an MFA in directing from the University of Southern Mississippi. It even led him to his partner of 24 years, Gary Williams, a fellow thespian and theatrical collaborator who has been hugely important in his creative journey.
A creative calling
While Matthews is himself no stranger to the spotlight of center stage, having taken many turns acting with various professional troops, directing and teaching has proven his true calling. He credits the pivotal role his own teachers played in sparked his passions, as well as his mother—a kindergarten and daycare provider—as inspiring his love and reverence for the classroom.
“After undergraduate and graduate school, I had a lot of friends who asked, ‘why aren’t you going to New York? Why aren’t you going to LA?” explains Matthews. “Truthfully, I just never felt like that was my calling.
“Teachers had always guided my path; my mom was involved in education, so teaching always resonated with me. And I think directing, which has always been a passion and what I pursued in my own education, has a lot of overlap with teaching. It requires a lot of guiding and supporting—so teaching was a very natural choice, a natural transition.” At CA, it has proven an incredibly gratifying one, in large part because of the connections he has forged with students and colleagues alike, whether in the classroom, as a student advisor, during an extracurricular production, or leading the Middle School Rollercoaster Madness and Stage Combat Clubs.
Gratifying impact
“One of the wonderful things about teaching in the arts department is that we get introduced to the students in Middle School. We have opportunities to continue to impact their lives and watch them grow and learn from them as they move all the way through 12th grade. That’s something that I don’t think I would have the opportunity to do anywhere else. To be able to be a part of a student’s growth and journey over seven years—it is amazing.”
That appreciation runs both ways.
“It’s difficult to put into words the impact that Mr. Matthews has had on both my time at CA and my life,” reflects alum Kevin Pendergast ’14. “He has been a driving force in shaping my approach to theater, my views of the world, and largely the person I am today.
“Mr. Matthews taught me that theater forces us to embark on work that is often emotionally and mentally taxing. He taught me that to give justice to this work we must ‘spit’ away the baggage of the outside world before we even enter the room. He teaches us to dig within ourselves for answers and work together in the trusting environment he provides to share our findings with an audience. By gathering together and taking a collective breath, Mr. Matthews facilitates insurmountable levels of individual and community growth. He is a driving force in the ensemble of our world.”
Communal catharsis
In April, Matthews and a group of Upper School students, many of whom he has been working with for years, will bring a new production, The Theory of Relativity, to the CA stage. It will mark Matthews’s 28th performance at CA.
Mounting such a production amid a pandemic has not been without challenge, but it is an undertaking that Matthews and his students feel is more important than ever. “Theater is important. We all have stories to tell, and we all appreciate hearing each other’s stories. I think now, in particular, we need communal experiences—opportunities to celebrate, to mourn, to give honor, to connect and build empathy, to heal.”
Ever the teacher, Matthews offers a history lesson to make his point, sharing how the ancient Greeks were early proponents of the cathartic power of theater. “The Greeks believed, in coming together to experience the plight of mythic characters suffering through significant tragedy, that they themselves would feel and be purged,” explains Matthews.“I believe that is why theater still exists today. In coming together to live a story all at the same time—we feel, we purge. Hopefully, we walk out those doors better people as a result.”
It is a lofty goal, to be sure, and one that he teaches his students carries significant responsibility rooted in our connection to each other.
“As theater artists, not only do we have the opportunity to help people feel, but in doing so, we can inspire change,” offers Matthews. “I have the privilege of seeing our students do this all the time, through the stories that they tell and how they choose to tell them, together, in the ensemble.”
He pauses, “If a student only remembers one thing from their time with me, I hope it is the importance of the ensemble—that we are stronger and more powerful when we choose to combine our abilities with those of others, to learn from the people around us. Working together as artists, our impact—their impact—is significant. It matters.”
Written by Mandy Dailey, Director of Communications
Athletics
Upper School Track & Field Brings Home TISAC Title
I was walking through the Upper School office when a colleague motioned me over to her computer, her eyes wide. I glanced over her shoulder (while keeping a COVIDly safe distance). On the screen, throngs were rampaging into the Capitol.
“Well, that’s not good,” we both said. As we watched, it just kept getting worse.
Like most educators on the evening of January 6th, I functioned with a split brain: one side, horrified at the images, kept searching the Internet for more information, for a better understanding. The other side, horrified at the images, started thinking about how we were going to support our students the following day.
All of us were grappling with twin concerns: the insurrection at the Capitol, and the distinct differences in how the domestic terrorists were handled, versus how the anti-racist protestors were met this summer.
We all knew that we couldn’t (and can’t) ignore those issues, because they affect students and their well-being. How do students focus on a test when they once again witness blatant racism? How do students focus on that essay when in the back of their heads, they are thinking “will we have a government in the morning?”
Predictably, texts, emails, and Microsoft Teams chats mushroomed throughout the afternoon and evening of the 6th. Ms. Johnson-Webb, Director of Equity and Community Engagement, reached out to me, sharing information and observations from educators of color across the country. As well, Mrs. Maret Jones, our Upper School Government teacher and 11th-12th grade Dean, worked with Upper School History Department chair Mr. Lasseter and the other history teachers that evening to sketch out how we would engender fact-based conversations the next day, cutting through the misinformation and fear.
The following morning, a bevy of adults came together, crafting a plan that addressed short and long-term needs. We wanted to provide space for students to process fears, a structure for them to analyze causes and effects, an area where they could employ all those skills we have asked our students to develop over the years.
We shared that plan with the Upper School faculty at 8:30am, and then sent out an email to the students just as classes started, offering the following:
We opened a classroom and Zoom room for a day-long meeting, one staffed by the Upper School History Department. Students were invited to drop by at their convenience to discuss the historical and governmental intricacies of the history we were watching.
We invited students to reach out to specific individuals for one-on-one conversations should they feel the need, listing out those adults and making sure that they were available throughout the day.
We let teachers know that they were welcomed—and encouraged if comfortable—to acknowledge the terrorist actions in the Capitol during the first 15 minutes of class, but we also encouraged the faculty to bound the time; we wanted the students to know that we supported them in this anxious period, but we didn’t want to flog them with six hours of discussion on the same topic.
We reminded students of a discussion opportunity during Flex Day the coming week, one organized and led by the Community Engagement class. In that teach-in, students discussed issues around voting rights, misinformation, and fraudulent claims about the election.
We verified that there was a space for our Black students to meet, to process, to support each other.
The students handled the stress with their typical panache: some made use of the discussion rooms, some reached out to individuals, some started to tease apart the issues, some used classes and schoolwork and friends as a haven from the broadcast history. In those moments, our strategic mission of focusing on student wellness truly came alive—all because the faculty, staff, and students worked together, making sure that we all had the support we needed that day.
The images of nooses, of Confederate flags in the Capitol, of violent beatings, of malevolence against people and democracy streaming into our lives on January 6th typified the ugliness that some have always seen, and some only see now. No matter what, though, we couldn’t ignore it nationally or locally.
So, the actions at CA on January 7th—the discussions, the quiet words of encouragement, the open ears and hearts, both in person and virtually—provided a local, temporary balm to a national disgrace.
On that day, we couldn’t wipe away the historical ugliness, but we could continue to support each other. Together.
CA Curious blogs offer personal, behind-the-scenes insights and reflections from our leadership, faculty, and staff on the day-to-day implementation of our strategic vision.
