Community

The Power of Yes

October 1, 2026


As Cary Academy enters its 30th year, Head of School Dr. Mike Ehrhardt reflects on the unexpected paths, individual transformations, and willingness to keep evolving that have shaped both his life and the school he has led. 

Mike Ehrhardt remembers the moment clearly. 

It was early in his tenure at Cary Academy, and he had just returned from an Outdoors Club backpacking trip with a group of students. For one student, it had been her first experience on the trail. The hike had been physically demanding. There had been difficult stretches, but moments of joy, too. 

When the bus returned to campus, Ehrhardt watched her walk toward her mother. 

“There was a lightness in her step and a smile and joy in her eyes,” he recalled. She was proud of what she had done and eager to share the experience with someone she loved. 

It was not an award ceremony or a public achievement—most people would never know it had even happened. Yet for Ehrhardt, the exchange revealed something essential about Cary Academy: the quiet transformation that can occur when a young person accepts a challenge, moves beyond what feels comfortable, and discovers something new within themselves.  

“When students are put in positions that are challenging for them, and they overcome those, they feel that pride,” he says. “They see themselves differently, and they want the people they love to see it, too.”  

As Cary Academy begins its 30th anniversary year, it is also entering the final chapter of Ehrhardt’s 14-year tenure as Head of School. He will retire at the end of the 2026–2027 academic year, closing a period in which CA has matured significantly without losing its willingness to keep evolving. 

At such a milestone, it might be tempting to measure a leader’s tenure through visible accomplishments (and Ehrhardt has many, such as strategic plans adopted, programs launched, facilities built, enrollment strengthened, or initiatives brought to fruition). 

Ehrhardt, however, is more likely to begin with one student getting off a bus. 

“I love my numbers. I love my trends. I love my big picture and trying to shape a narrative to see where all of this is leading us,” he says. “But at the end of the day, a school is never just the big picture. There are 809 students at Cary Academy this year, and that means 809 distinct journeys. Eight hundred nine young people finding their way, being challenged, discovering who they might become, and what difference they want to make in the world.” 

For Ehrhardt, that is where the work ultimately resides. Not in the institution writ large, but in the personal and often unpredictable journeys of the people within it, and in creating a school where they feel supported in saying yes to what might come next. 

WITHOUT A MAP

Ehrhardt’s own journey offers an example of the kind of growth CA asks of its students. It was not carefully mapped from the outset, nor was it directed toward a predetermined destination. Instead, it unfolded through curiosity, relationships, unexpected invitations, and a willingness to take risks and even get a little uncomfortable. Growing up in a small town outside Minneapolis, Ehrhardt expected to attend college, but had not yet formed a clear picture of where he belonged or what might follow. That began to change during his senior year, when a new speech and debate coach made an impression on him. Curious about the path that had shaped someone he admired, he asked where she had gone to school. Her answer, St. Olaf College, gave him a place to begin.

He arrived without a fixed career plan, but not without a commitment to avail himself of all the school had to offer. When he and a friend applied to edit the college’s weekly newspaper, Ehrhardt discovered enjoyment in work that was creative but disciplined, collaborative but deadline-driven, and grounded in the satisfaction of producing something tangible.

At the same time, college was widening his world in a more literal sense. Through St. Olaf’s Global Semester Program, Ehrhardt and his later-to-be wife, Krista, spent five months traveling around the world. The experience deepened their interest in other cultures and perspectives and left them open to building a life beyond the United States.

When an opportunity arose to work at an international school, they jumped at the chance. (“We took a flyer on that,” Ehrhardt says with a laugh.)

That leap launched a 17-year adventure overseas—spanning lengthy chapters in Cyprus, Brazil, and England—that would ultimately redirect his career.
His journalism background led naturally into teaching English, history, yearbook, and student newspaper. As desktop publishing began reshaping that work, he moved toward educational technology, then technology leadership and middle school administration.

While working in London, he completed his doctorate through the University of Minnesota without stepping away from his leadership role. His path eventually led to headship.  None of it had been laid out
in advance.

“We talk about students nowadays finding comfort in maps and very clear directions,” Ehrhardt shares. “But a lot of the joy and discovery that’s a part of the CA experience comes from getting out of those comfort zones.”
His own path gave him firsthand experience of what Cary Academy asks of students—to try something unfamiliar, remain open to discovery, and trust that a meaningful direction can emerge before every turn is visible. Years later, those same instincts would help draw him to Cary Academy.

A NEW CHAPTER

When Ehrhardt first arrived for a campus visit in 2012, he immediately recognized an institution whose foundational commitments closely aligned with his own.
CA’s belief that technology could positively affect students’ lives resonated with his background as a technology director. Its emphasis on global citizenship and the World Exchange Program connected to a career spent largely in international education. But it was the founders’ commitment to the school that ultimately gave Ehrhardt confidence in its future.
Guided by the clear and ambitious vision of founders Dr. James and Ann Goodnight and John and Ginger Sall, Cary Academy spent its earliest years building a distinctive educational model. It paired academic excellence with social and emotional growth, embraced technology as a powerful tool for learning, and fundamentally reimagined what an independent school could be.

“As a founder, you hope the values and aspirations that shaped a school will endure, but you also know the school cannot stand still,” offers co-founder Ann Goodnight. “Mike has honored Cary Academy’s founding vision while helping it evolve in intentional and meaningful ways. He has been a thoughtful steward of what we hoped the school could become, understanding what was essential to preserve and where CA needed to grow.”

That balance became especially important when Ehrhardt arrived. 

A top-down approach had made sense in CA’s earliest years, when nearly every element of the school was still being built and defined.
“Those foundations had to be established. Everything had to be built and put in place, and then you’re going to ride that out for a while to assess what is working and what isn’t,” Ehrhardt said.
The first strategic planning process of his tenure created an opportunity to ask whether the structures that had helped establish CA’s distinctive model were still serving the school as well as they once had. What emerged was a recognition that the institution had inadvertently become “a little bit more rigid than what we should be” in allowing change and innovation to take shape.

ROOM TO EVOLVE

Rather than abandoning the founding model, CA began to evolve it. Under Ehrhardt’s leadership, the school adopted a more distributed approach to innovation, creating space for ideas to emerge from across the institution.
Departments and teachers closest to the student experience were invited to imagine greater flexibility, personalization, and choice. Ehrhardt helped shape the larger vision, ask questions that moved ideas further, and create the conditions for promising ideas to become meaningful opportunities for students.

“That was, I think, a transformative sort of time,” reflects Ehrhardt.

The shift set in motion a decade-long evolution in CA’s curriculum and programming. It also revealed his ability to pair vision with collaboration, a defining quality of his leadership.

“I’ve tried to give people real ownership of their work by encouraging ideas, fostering thoughtful risk-taking, and instilling the confidence to move things forward,” Ehrhardt says. “But I’ve also seen my role as helping shape the larger direction, asking questions that move an idea further and bringing people together around what might be possible.”

Launched in 2018, the Center for Community Engagement grew from that kind of partnership. Ehrhardt helped articulate the vision, invited others to challenge and strengthen it, and, when the moment was right, used the authority of his role to move it from possibility to commitment.

“At some point, you have to be willing to say yes and tip an idea into reality,” Ehrhardt said. “There are moments when only the Head of School can make that commitment on behalf of the institution.”

“Mike has always brought a deep commitment to the mission and a compelling vision for what Cary Academy could become, but he has always understood that vision is strengthened when it is shared,” says Board Chair Dr. Trude Bate.

“He invites people into the work, takes their ideas seriously, and builds the trust that makes collaboration possible. Then, when the time comes, he has the courage and judgment to move the school forward. That balance of vision, trust, collaboration, and decisive leadership has been a defining strength of his tenure.” 

GROUNDED IN MISSION

That collaborative approach shaped not only how ideas moved through the institution, but how Cary Academy came to understand innovation itself.

Technology had been one of Cary Academy’s earliest and most visible expressions of innovation. During Ehrhardt’s tenure, innovation came to mean something broader, shaping not only the tools the school embraced but its willingness to experiment, learn, adapt, and revise in response to a changing world.

“We take risks. We say ‘yes’ and try new things,” Ehrhardt offers. “We demonstrate through the organization and through our faculty that sort of trial and error, iteration and improvement we ask our students to engage in.”

That willingness to experiment supported a more personalized educational experience, with greater student voice, choice, and agency in their learning. It also required continued refinement. As opportunities expanded, CA had to clarify pathways and reassure students and families that there was no single “right” version of a successful CA experience.

“There are all sorts of different transcripts and all sorts of different experiences that students are going to have,” he shares, “and they are all going to be able to lead to a lot of really great things in college and beyond.”

But adaptability did not mean change for its own sake. The mission remained the school’s center of gravity, providing continuity even as CA’s understanding of how best to fulfill it evolved to meet the changing needs of its students.
“The understanding of the words of the mission has evolved and morphed as it’s needed to,” says Ehrhardt. “But this school always has been a school that proudly knows and leans into its mission.”

That evolving understanding of the mission is visible not only in CA’s programs and practices, but in the composition and experience of the community itself. Ehrhardt recalls co-founder Ann Goodnight expressing her belief that the school should more fully reflect not simply Cary, but the broader Triangle.

He is proud of the steady progress made toward that aspiration, particularly during the latter half of his tenure. At the 30-year milestone, he sees the strength and breadth of that diverse community as one of CA’s greatest reasons to celebrate.
“Such a diverse community with so many different perspectives all pushing in the same direction for the mission, in an environment that is supportive and caring, is super powerful,” he says.

“Mike has been an essential partner in advancing equity at Cary Academy,” says Danielle Johnson-Webb, Director of Equity and the Center for Community Engagement. “He understood that reflecting the diversity of the broader Triangle was only part of the work. We also had to examine our practices, structures, and culture, and to do the difficult, sometimes reparative work required to ensure that every person in this community felt seen, valued, and able to thrive.

“He also understood that this work should shape how students experience the world beyond CA,” she continues.  “Through the Center for Community Engagement, students are invited beyond their own experiences to encounter different perspectives, develop empathy, and engage responsibly with the wider world. Mike’s partnership has helped to sustain both dimensions of that work.” 

HEART OF THE WORK

For all the strategic work of leadership, Ehrhardt’s admiration returns repeatedly to the faculty and staff members who create the daily student experience.
“Without a doubt, our faculty and staff see our kids,” he said.

He watched that commitment become particularly visible during the pandemic, when adults carried their own fears, challenges, and responsibilities but continued to show up for students.

Leaders can be one, two, or three steps removed from the moments when transformation occurs, Ehrhardt explains. The essential work happens in classrooms, activities, conversations, and relationships, through adults who remain present and attentive to young people and create environments where students can be themselves, grow, and take risks.

“They have crafted an environment where that beauty can happen,” he said.

“At the end of the day, the commitment of our faculty and staff to that core notion of being an educator is always what’s most inspiring to me.”

Ehrhardt expects to miss those small celebrations, the moments when a student discovers a new interest after weeks of encouragement or when an ordinary act reveals a growing sense of confidence and possibility.

“Being part of a community that celebrates those kinds of moments and that kind of growth, I’ll definitely miss,” he says.

PAST, PRESENT, POSSIBLE

Cary Academy’s 30th anniversary offers a natural opportunity to look back. CA is no longer a young institution trying to prove that its founding ideas can work. It has matured into a school with a strong identity and an established record of educational innovation and excellence.

That deserves acknowledgment.

“Sometimes when we’re in this sort of, ‘Let’s get to the next thing, let’s get to the next thing,’ I do think it’s important to take a beat and say, ‘Hey guys, let’s feel good for just a little bit about what we’ve done,’” Ehrhardt said. “That’s what these milestone moments are meant to be about.”

But neither the anniversary nor his retirement represents a finished state. Both are invitations to recognize what has been built while remaining open to what might come next.

“If we are a school that believes in innovation, believes in the individual, and believes in matching those things to a world that they are going to grow into, then we’re always unfinished,” he said. “We always have to change and adapt.”
Honoring what CA has built does not mean preserving any one version of the school as a golden age. Emerging technologies will bring changes the school cannot yet fully predict. The work of expanding access and affordability is ongoing. New people and a changing world will bring different experiences and questions.

Ehrhardt’s confidence in the future rests not on a particular program or plan, but on those who continue to choose Cary Academy.

“The people that are attracted to come to work and be students and parents at Cary Academy are unbelievably talented, super smart, and super committed to community,” he said.

When people come together around a shared mission and values, he believes, the school can navigate the inevitable challenges and changes ahead. 

THE NEXT YES

As his final year begins, Ehrhardt is preparing for his own next transition. He and Krista plan to return to the Midwest, moving to Nebraska to be closer to their adult children—former Chargers Evan, ‘18, and Emma, ‘16. It was not a destination they anticipated, but Ehrhardt’s life has been shaped repeatedly by paths that appeared only after he was willing to take the first step. Cary Academy has shaped that life, too.

Many of the interests Ehrhardt now considers part of his identity began with an invitation at CA. He had not backpacked before a colleague asked him to chaperone a trip during his first fall. He had not been a runner before his daughter asked him to train with her as she prepared to join the cross country team. (The two ran their first half marathon together during her 10th-grade year, and Ehrhardt has since completed 26 around the world.)

Those experiences give him confidence as he considers retirement. “I’ve got some really deep and impactful things that are part of my life right now, that I think about as part of my identity, that only came about because I said yes to something new,” he said. 

“I’m looking forward to new adventures,” he said, “and we’re going to step into another phase where I have to do what I have done previously, which is go into a new period of life and figure it out and find new purpose and joy. My family has done that for me as we’ve moved around the world for my profession, and I am excited to pay that forward now.” 

They also affirm his belief in what CA asks of students. A class, trip, activity, conversation, or invitation may shape them in ways they cannot yet anticipate. The meaning may reveal itself years later. What matters is remaining open enough to begin. 

“When there are invites, and you have all the reasons to say, ‘No, I don’t want to do that,’ take a beat and see if maybe you can give that a go,” Ehrhardt said. “You never know where that might take you.” 

After a life and career shaped by unexpected invitations, Ehrhardt is preparing to accept yet another.

Written by Mandy Dailey, Director of Communications

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Letting Our Children Be Who They Are Meant To Be

October 27, 2022

The other day I was watching a clip* from a neuropsychologist Dr. Russell A. Barkley who was addressing a group of educators in a series called “Essential Ideas for Parents.”  He began with “The problem with parents these days…” and he almost lost me. Heavy sigh. Eye roll.

I usually have no tolerance for whatever negativity comes after such grand, generalized statements—especially one aimed at parenting (which is arguably more complicated now than in any previous generation). While defensive, I continued watching. He jabbed his finger in the air and proclaimed, “Parents do not get to design their children.”I was intrigued. He went on to say:

Nature would never have permitted this to happen. Evolution would not have allowed a generation of a species to be so influenced by the previous generation.  

A quick perusal of any medical office waiting-area parenting magazines would suggest quite the opposite. There, in glossy print, you’ll find recipes for The Perfect Baby.  The D1 Athlete.  The Child-Who-Has-An-Easygoing-Temperament. Who is writing those articles?

Reading one of those magazines gives a false impression that if parents just do the right things, their children will become what they plan for them to be. No pressure, right? Dr. Barkley would rip those magazines to shreds. Based on everything neuroscientists, behavioral psychologists, and many other researchers have studied, our children are born with a “unique genetic mosaic” comprised of hundreds of psychological and physical traits from genes that extend beyond the biological parents and well into your extended families.

The development of these genes in your children is, science tells us, largely out of the control of parents. Regardless of whether the mother ate enough broccoli when she was pregnant or if she frequented Bojangles for fried chicken twice a day (totally random example, don’t look at me), a large part of her child’s gifts and challenges are already pre-programmed. Too often, society likes to suggest that we have control over so much of what is not in our control. Our kid’s success, we have been told, is based on the choices we make as parents.

“The truth is:  we don’t have that degree of power.  Nature would never permit that to happen.”

What does this mean, that we’re not in control?  Is it frightening, or is it freeing?  You tell me. Yes, Dr. Barkley says, a stimulating environment is better than a deprived environment.  But ‘more is better’ reaches its point of diminishing returns, and overload in the name of child design has negative consequences. Maybe our pre-covid schedules and our post-ish-covid schedules in our homes tell that same story. Dr. Barkley and his colleagues encourage us to think of ourselves as parents as Shepherds, not Engineers. He goes on to explain:

The idea that you can engineer IQ, personality is just not true. Your child is not a blank slate on which you get to write.  Instead of an ‘engineer’ view of parenting [that makes you responsible for everything that goes right and everything that goes wrong—totally guilt inducing] step back and take the ‘Shepherd’s View’.  

You are a shepherd to a unique individual. You don’t design the sheep. But shepherds are powerful people. They pick the pastures in which the sheep will graze and develop and grow. They determine whether they’re appropriately nourished. They determine whether they’re protected from harm. The environment is important, but it doesn’t design the sheep. The shepherd knows that he will never make the sheep into a dog, no matter how much he wants a dog.

I read that as this:  we can do what we can to make sure our children have opportunity and surround them with great teachers, healthy friends, and intellectual stimulation. And then we get to observe, accept, and encourage. 

The stress we put on ourselves to engineer our children, surely rubs off on the child—how can it not?  We can unpack the damage of all that parental pressure:  it undermines confidence, sense of self, sense of trust in knowing who you are, and ultimately, paralyzing stress narrows your child’s options rather than follows their lead to new horizons. It certainly would decrease the competitiveness the world wants us to feel with other parents. Imagine this gentler, graceful approach snowballing into a new wave of parenting that encourages observation, discovery, and celebration. And, imagine, our children growing into their authentic selves—confident, assured, proud, and supported.

*After I saw the short video, I dove into literature that was footnoted at the end of the talk. Wow, one can really go down a rabbit hole if one chooses!  Stephen Pinker’s book The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature boils the nature vs. nurture argument down and highlights many of these points.  He’s a psychology professor at MIT and was featured on a MIT author series.   I’ve talked about this book before but Andrew Solomon’s book Far From the Tree reads like a textbook but is an ambitious exploration of children’s search for identity in families, in the world. 

Written by Josette Huntress Holland, Head of Middle School

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Breaking the People Pleasing Cycle

September 22, 2022

What do we do when our children don’t get what they want? When they’re little, we coach them on the value of sharing, waiting their turn, or accepting the situation. If you are a parent of siblings, you’ve probably set multiple invisible timers to negotiate toy time between equally indignant children. You’ve heard ‘it’s-my-time-with-the-Xbox!’ and ‘I WAS HERE FIRST!!!’ I remember the days when one of my children ONLY wanted to practice the piano at the exact time that their sibling was practicing. Have you ever seen piano-bench wrestling? It’s not pretty. 

But how about when they’re older? An adolescent? What happens when your child struggles with self-regulation when they don’t get chosen for a sports team, their arts major preference, or their first choice in an X-day activity? 

They might seem mad or sad—even indignant; fear of rejection can wear many masks (and some, simultaneously). And, wow, can it be tough to parent a child through that, especially when, as parents, we might struggle ourselves with FOMO (a.k.a. Fear Of Missing Out. It’s a real thing, I promise).  

Or maybe it’s not self-regulation they are struggling with, but rather: what if they’re struggling with a side effect of people-pleasing?  It might stem from a fear of disappointing YOU, their parent, if they did not get or do something that was expected of them.  How can you parent them through those choppy waters?

You can ask a parent of a first-year college student who is at their ‘second choice’ school and thriving. Or you can ask the parent of a child who was put into a random X-day activity last year and ended up loving it.  Or Jay Sagrolikar ’21 who was placed in band as his second-choice arts major in the 6th grade and ended up being one of our school’s most prolific and joyful saxophonists, completing multiple independent studies and performing as a key player in a newly formed jazz band.  His band teacher wrote

Jay, Xavier, and Marvin all stopped by at the start of this school year just to jam a little bit together and be in the band space.  Wonderful young men who have definitely found a passion in their gifts of music.  Here is a short video of what they were playing around with that morning.  Warmed my heart for sure!  

There are lessons to learn here that go well beyond placement.  Parents who have experienced such challenges and have experienced any measure of success have reported that they did a few things:

  1. They let their child feel their emotions—whatever those were.
  2. They sought their child’s permission to discuss the disappointment and their feelings about it.
  3. They discussed it without shame or judgment, approaching the issue with curiosity and empathy, including that it’s okay to have “wants”.
  4. When their children felt like a victim of ‘not being selected,’ they kept the focus on things in their child’s control, like attitude and enthusiasm.
  5. If it wasn’t life-threatening, they didn’t jump in to fix it.
  6. Worth repeating: if it wasn’t life-threatening, they didn’t jump in to fix it. (It’s hard, I know.)
  7. They asked their children for their suggestions on how to move forward, opening an empowering space for their kids to flex agency, figure out self-advocacy, and practice problem-solving.

In short, all found success when the parents signaled that their kids could handle their disappointment and when they stopped assigning judgment to their kids’ feelings. It’s totally normal to feel sad and disappointed and bummed—yes, it makes us parents uncomfortable, but there are no such things as ‘bad’ feelings. 

I know it can be hard to watch your child sit in discomfort, to resist the urge to swoop in and manage a situation or “fix” it on their behalf. However, I promise that there is something extremely valuable in finding safe, low-stakes ways for your children to experience disappointment and find acceptance of an outcome different than what they had planned and envisioned. In a recent podcast entitled How to Raise Untamed Kids, Dr. Becky Kennedy talks with Glennon Doyle and her pod squad (We Can Do Hard Things) about these very topics.  

Of course, I’m not talking about ‘settling’ in a marriage or a career or anything like that. Rather, having a mild-to-moderate disappointment is a chance to understand that sometimes, for reasons that may be as random as a lottery, life deals you your second choice–and that you will be just fine, perhaps even better for it. It can also present an important opportunity to practice breaking the bonds of people-pleasing, which plague so many of us adults. 

You might be saying, “But Josette, my child has had her fair share of disappointments.”  And there are undoubtedly heavy sighs when we recognize societal disappointments, like how COVID shaped the last few years of these children’s social lives.  But if we are genuinely looking to celebrate authentic success, let’s start by recognizing the value in building a worldview in which our children are sometimes the main character and, other times, a supporting crew.  After all, it is in those alternate outcomes, second choices, and “disappointments” that resilience and flexibility are forged. And these are skills you want your kids to have in spades when larger challenges and disappointments come their way. By granting a space for your children to experience and process a disappointment, you are arming them with the confidence and knowledge that, when things don’t go their way, they can handle it—that they’ve “got this.”

And that is how disappointments don’t become setbacks, but new opportunities.

Written by Josette Huntress Holland, Head of Middle School

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The power of purpose

September 2, 2021

Coach Pullen is a genius.

We had been watching our 65 middle school cross country students struggle through an early-season workout. A few students dutifully completed the warm-up jog. Still, most had quickly defaulted to walking — all the while grumbling about the heat, sore ankles, and assorted other tribulations associated with physical activity. 

“OK, runners,” Coach shouted as they came in from the first loop of the field. “Those of you who are one of the top 15 to 20 runners on the team — my best runners — you can go out for another loop. The rest of you, go ahead and stop for a water break.” 

I watched in amazement as at least half the team looked at one another, trying to assess the situation, themselves, and their friends… and then headed back out for a second loop. This time, at a full run. 

Coach Pullen’s motivational technique got me rethinking about something I shared with Upper School students at their opening convocation this year. 

There is a growing body of research on the positive impacts of having purpose in life. As Cornell University psychologist Anthony Burrow recently explained on an NPR podcast: “There seems to be accumulating evidence that one of the benefits of feeling a sense of purpose is that it can help us remain even keel in moments of stress or challenge, and sometimes even uplifting experiences.”

The challenge for all of us — but especially young people — is how to “find” that purpose. 

Professor Burrow would be quick to point out that this might be the wrong way to look at it. 

Purpose, he would say, is “cultivated,” not found. This happens by creating an environment where you establish a sense of identity and self-understanding, are exposed to new things, interesting questions, and challenging ideas, and then have some self-determination in where you go in life. 

Fortunately, as I told the students in August, research shows us three potential ways to cultivate purpose. 

  1. Proactive: A gradual, sustained attempt to engage in a topic or opportunity. Think of a hobby that morphs into something more, sometimes without even realizing when the transition happened. 
  2. Reactive: Responding to something that happens in life, which can often be negative, that nonetheless gives somebody a newfound sense of purpose or direction.  
  3. Pro-Social: Cultivating a sense of purpose through interacting and learning from other people and their passions or purposes. Like a hobby, this type of purpose acquisition may grow gradually over time — but it comes from our natural desire to share experiences with others. 

We can see opportunities to cultivate purpose in all three ways here at Cary Academy, but certainly more clearly in ways 1 and 3. As we move further down the path of our strategic plan, we seek to build more opportunities to grow student interests and passions through coursework, extracurricular programs, and new experiential learning pathways embedded in X Days. 

Which brings me back to Coach Pullen and seeing first-hand the power of pro-social motivation. None of our new runners are really experienced enough to know if the sport will be for them or if it will lead to a life-long association with running or fitness. For now, though, the experience of being together and of trying on the identity of “top runner,” is a powerful motivator and a positive experience. 

That’s ultimately how the race is won—one step at a time.

Written by Mike Ehrhardt, Head of School

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April 29, 2021

In speaking with Middle School Head Marti Jenkins about this week’s Fun Fest activities – rife with bouncy castles and bingo — she said: “This is the first time in over a year that things have felt normal.”  

Indeed, the transition to Yellow Mode has brought a sense of joy, and normalcy, to the routine of school and rituals of spring. Even against the backdrop of ongoing challenges, there is a sense of hope and optimism that very much matches the season. Watching the kids run, and jump, and laugh, on the MS Field lifted my spirits in unexpected ways. It felt right to smile, and maybe for a moment, look forward to better times ahead.  

Of course, one of the reasons to be optimistic for “better times ahead” is that we do not expect to rewind and return to “normal.” While the pandemic and racial reckoning have been isolating and painful, they also have been instructive. We will honor the pain by growing from the experience(s) and doing some things differently, and better, going forward.  

Now, it might be a bit too early to outline precisely what those things are … but I feel quite confident that Cary Academy will start next school year stronger and more committed to our mission than at any time in our 25-year history.  

As a school, I am proud that we have moved our programs and strategic plan forward this year against any number of odds. We’ve put renewed emphasis on student wellness, reimagined how we structure and use time, and leaned into new ways to further experiential learning. Together, these efforts have offered new avenues for our students to exercise agency, leadership, and choice. At the same time, we’ve also reconfirmed and strengthened our commitment to being an anti-racist organization, institutionalizing important ways to genuinely listen, understand, learn from, and support one another.   

While we’ve struggled like every organization and every community this past year, we’ve also learned that we are individually and collectively resilient. Our community is comprised of deeply caring people who want the best for our own families, our school, and our world.  

And our collective patience and goodwill, while stretched at times, never snapped. I cannot overemphasize how important—and, frankly, remarkable–that has been. While there have been plenty of opportunities for Monday morning quarterbacking this pandemic, our families put their trust in CA. Fighting the virus has been hard enough; thankfully, we never started fighting each other. Given the times in which we live, this is greatly appreciated. Thank you, all!  

I’m looking forward to closing out the 2020-2021 school year in the most typical way possible, and planning ahead for a new and improved “normal” for 2021-2022. 

Written by Mike Ehrhardt, Head of School

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December 10, 2020

Every year about this time, we circulate a draft of the next year’s academic calendar before finalizing it in January. It is an opportunity to give our community a heads up so they can start thinking about the coming year and a chance to solicit feedback. Over the past several years, there have been no changes to the calendar once the draft has been posted. 

However, this year, I want to draw your attention to a fairly significant change to the Thanksgiving and Winter Breaks and explain a bit of the background. Please indulge me with what will no doubt be the longest “calendar explanation” you’ll ever read.  

For those who would prefer just the highlights of the significant changes:  

  • Thanksgiving Break for MS students: Wed Nov 17 – Fri Nov 26 
  • Thanksgiving Break for US students: Mon Nov 22 – Fri Nov 26 
  • Winter Break for MS students: Mon Dec 20 – Fri Dec 31 
  • Winter Break for US students: Mon Dec 20 – Wed Jan 5 

If that gives you a headache: take an aspirin, rest your eyes for a moment, and read on for a more detailed explanation.  

It all starts with semesters vs. trimesters 

This year, the Upper School switched to a semester academic schedule, while our Middle School remained on trimesters. This may seem odd, and it is worth a more in-depth explanation.  

When the school was founded in 1996, a great deal of thinking went into building around a trimester schedule. Two significant advantages stood out. 

  • Assessment and Stress: Trimesters were viewed more favorably than semesters because they gave teachers and students more exposure to material before a grading period (which traditionally came at the quarter mark). CA has always believed in the intrinsic motivation of learning and wanted to institutionalize that by having fewer times when we give report cards and focus on grades – three as opposed to four times a year.  
  • Planning and Recoup Time: Another key feature of the trimester schedule was the ability to build in a two-week break for students at the end of a marking period. Importantly, several of these days have been used by faculty as professional days to close out one term and collaborate on curriculum and activities for the next term.  

Changes in the Upper School 

As a part of our strategic planning process, the Upper School has made several changes to their program to enhance student choice – giving them more chances to “own their own learning.” These changes started even before the strategic plan with the introduction of the Path Program in the social sciences department, which introduced a selection of topical, trimester-based history courses in the ninth- and tenth-grade years. This has expanded in other grades to new trimester-based selections in English, world languages, PE, and fine and performing arts. 

Not only are these choices beneficial in helping students delve deeper into areas of interest, but they also give students more flexibility and variety in course selection and more ability to craft their own unique narrative about their educational journey. That sense of self-awareness and ownership is so important as students apply and prepare to transition into college – where even greater choices and decisions await.  

However, there have been two significant tradeoffs to adding so many trimester based courses into the schedule:  

  1. First off is that a trimester is not that long, and it can be a challenge to find opportunities to dive a bit deeper into more complex material or build off of earlier aspects introduced in a course.  
  1. Second, all of these trimester courses end up on the transcript – introducing waves of grade anxiety that didn’t exist when nearly all our courses were year-long. In essence, these new courses did the exact opposite of what we chose the trimester calendar for all those many years ago … to reduce stress and unnecessary focus on grades.  

Finally, a smaller but not inconsequential factor is that, as we’ve expanded our opportunities for choice and experiential learning, more and more students are blending outside courses and programs into their learning journeys. They may be taking online classes with the Global Online Academy or the VHS Collaborative or participating in place-based programs such as High Mountain Institute or the School for Ethics and Global Leadership. All of these programs operate on a semester calendar, and meshing them with our trimester system has grown more complex as more students pursue more programs.  

While we are only in our first year of the semester calendar, early feedback has been positive. When discussing grade anxiety, it is also important to note that, with the change to semesters, we have not adopted quarterly report cards. We do report “mid-term grades,” which we also did at the mid-trimester level. These are important check-ins but very different than a report card.  

All told, these changes are unique to the Upper School. While the Middle School has adopted more choice within their courses, they generally still remain year-long, with grade check-ins three times a year. The trimester system still fits the needs, and the program set up in the MS quite nicely.  

So, what does this mean for the calendar? 

This background can be helpful in understanding why we have shifted the breaks in the calendar. The addition of a week of instructional time for the Upper School does two critical things. First, it gives more balance to the first-semester and second-semester courses. Second, it takes away the momentum killer of a two-week break right before semester end, rather than at the end of the trimester.  

The breaks also take into account the now different divisional needs for planning/professional time.  

We recognize that this might prove slightly inconvenient for some families with children in both divisions. However, we hope that, given enough advance time for planning, it will be manageable.  

You will notice that we made no changes to the two-week break in the spring. That break does fit nicely as a mid-point break for the US semester.  

Finally, a preemptive answer to some lingering questions 

We suspect that you may have two other questions regarding next year’s calendar: 

Will the start times remain the same? 

Yes. We implemented new, staggered start times as both a pandemic and wellness initiative. We believe the sleep research is strong, and will continue with these new start times next year. We will reassess again a year from now, when we get a better sense of potential impacts on travel time and athletics.  

Will Flex Days remain? 

Yes. We appreciate the flexibility (pun intended) families have shown as we roll out some new programs this year. We’ve learned a lot, and we expect the program and the communication will continue to improve.  

We will communicate a much more detailed Flex Day calendar in the spring. The calendar will look different; we expect that some flex days will be used for more academic purposes once we can get everyone back on campus (such as days where all classes meet for shorter periods or some classes meet for makeup/review sessions).   

That was a lot, and we are open to feedback. Please feel free to send it to me directly.

Written by Mike Ehrhardt, Head of School

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September 24, 2020

Next Tuesday — after 29 weeks, or 148 days to be exact – we will have students on campus for regular coursework!

OK, so maybe “regular” is pushing it. Nothing about the last six months (or the coming six months) could fit within a reasonable definition of regular. 

Let’s just say it will be a great to have students back on campus on a more regular basis. That’ll work. 

In addition to feelings of relief and excitement, the next few weeks will also be a little uncertain as we adapt to new routines and refamiliarize ourselves with in-person learning (or some facsimile). As we’ve shared quite a bit about health and safety expectations recently, I won’t belabor the point here. Other than say: Be mindful that just because we are returning to school doesn’t mean the pandemic is over. We are learning to adapt to living in the world during a pandemic, and in doing so we must remain vigilant. 

With that important reminder out of the way, what I really want to talk about is how we can embrace our new reality and manage the loss that we feel as the pandemic continues. 

The restart of on-campus learning does not mean that things will spring back to normal anytime soon. Some traditions and experiences that we’ve come to associate with school in general (class bonding trips) and Cary Academy specifically (world language trips) have disappeared. Other traditions may be continued in some form but altered in such a way as to be unrecognizable. (Yes, the incoming 9th graders did sign the welcome books during small advisory orientation meetings, but this is traditionally done during a raucous opening convocation with the whole Upper School.)

However, the change in our routines does not in any way diminish the validity or power of new experiences and relationships. This can be hardest on us adults, who are maybe a bit more set in our ways and feel more acutely the loss of experiences we had wanted for our children. I felt this last spring when I took a middle-of-the-night-call to assist in evacuating my own college-age son from his study abroad experience in the Czech Republic. As winter turned into spring, all of us holed up in our house, I was pained for what he didn’t get to experience. But while I was stuck focusing on what I had wanted reality to be, he adapted much more quickly to the disappointment and moved on. He has his own memories and stories about his experiences – and, in his telling, rather dramatic evacuation – that are powerful and poignant. 

When we look back on the pandemic, and the adjustments and sacrifices we have had to make, this will be a powerful moment in the lives of our children. It will be their moment. Unique. A test of their resilience and fortitude. They won’t remember what didn’t happen, but instead what did happen – how they laughed, cried, got bored, made a friend, got in fight with said friend, learned something new, missed a deadline, got embarrassed by their parents, had their dog loudly pass gas during a Zoom class meeting… You know, the stuff of life.

While we may layer on our hopes and dreams for our children, this is their only reality. 

This is our reality, too. 

And we are going to have a great year together.

Written by Mike Ehrhardt, Head of School

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Patience, flexibility, grace, and oodles of kindness

August 13, 2020

Pandemic. Hurricane. Earthquake. And that was just the first half of the month! 

Despite so many headwinds, it has been delightful to see students back on campus this week. Even though we couldn’t see the smiles, we felt the energy. We all needed this week — together, even if only briefly.

The start of any school year is always one of imagination and invention. Excitement and possibility. This year, we unfortunately have to mix in caution and anxiety. We don’t have a playbook for opening a school year in a pandemic, made even more complicated against the backdrop of important reflection on race and equity and a highly politicized national election.

One of my first emails to parents and students this year involved asking you to read and sign something we call the CA: United Compact. Yes, this was in one sense a document that outlines behavioral expectations that will allow us to do face-to-face school in a pandemic. It was also an acknowledgment of the risks of doing same. 

In another sense, it is a call to a higher purpose. It is a recognition that, as a community, we all have a stake in both our individual and collective wellbeing. At this stage in our understanding of the pandemic, we can all recognize that the individual choices we make could have a direct, negative effect on the health of another person — hence the expectations around masks and distancing. 

Equally important, though, is the need to extend goodwill as we re-learn how to come together as a community. We need to uplift each other through this transition, as we all navigate so many different emotions. 

Practically speaking, these suggestions are familiar: 

  • Assume positive intention. 
  • Listen to understand.
  • Speak to be understood. 

Putting these into practice when we might be nervous, anxious, angry, confused (insert your own adjective) is much, much harder. 


But, now is the time to work — together — to create our best possible future. We cannot shrink away from the many challenges that confront us, but instead we need to lean into one another for comfort and support as we forge ahead. 

Doing this well is going to require patience, flexibility, and grace — and as Mr. Bob Ingram told the graduates of the Class of 2020 at their virtual commencement — oodles of kindness.  

Chargers, we are up to the challenge. Now is our unique moment to reinvent what it means to be a learning community committed to discovery, innovation, collaboration, and excellence.

Written by Mike Ehrhardt, Head of School

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ICYMI: What might social distancing look like in the fall

April 29, 2020

What might social distancing look like next fall? While we don’t yet have all the answers, CA’s leadership has launched a series of task forces to grapple with the many complex dimensions of opening a new school year amidst a global pandemic.

Tonight, Head of School Mike Ehrhardt sat down for a virtual interview with WRAL’s Amanda Lamb to discuss the complex challenges and decisions ahead—from possible health screenings to mask usage to social distancing considerations to dining hall preparations and everything in between.

“When you start to get into it, you realize how much a school has to examine in order to feel like we can open things [back] up and be safe and comfortable for students,” Ehrhardt told Lamb.

Watch the entire interview, here:

Written by Dan Smith, Digital Content Producer and Social Media Manager

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